Today, in response to an email I had sent a couple of weeks ago regarding our divorce, the boy sent me this:
I wanna say that there are two regrets in my life - 1) cheating on you and 2) raising my hand on you. I have enjoyed my life with you and had the best time. I don't regret fighting the world for you... and wish you all the very best. 
Nothing will give me more pleasure than if I can help you if you EVER need anything. 

I was at a charming southern restaurant when I read the email and had to rush to the loo to give in to my tears.
And then I was fine.
Some resentful baggage was dumped when he acknowledged the wrongdoings.

For a long while, I had numbed myself with food/kdrama/activities to the point of oblivion in that marriage. And for the first time in a long while, it felt that I had mattered to him, that I had existed in that relationship. My ego has been smoothed. A minute part of me also did the whole 'Why couldn't you just be this human before?'

When I returned home, I looked through my divorce folder. Going over the multitude of tasks I had to tick off and get done to arrive at where I am, I know that, as usual, this email is just lip service.

His words (mangled and tortured as they always are) were and are so cheap. In the two months since he hit me, he

• went missing from the house for days, while I shopped for a lawyer and helped my sister close her life in the former place,
• kept stalling when I wanted to sit down and talk assets, 
• offered, then redacted, to help my sister move, when I arranged for movers and packed away our life, 
• refused to split the lawyer's fees or even hire a lawyer, 
• made me book him a hotel when he finally agreed to drive the moving truck to the new place. 
• refused to hand over information of our funds to me, while I called/texted/emailed constantly for three weeks, 
• stalled on letting me know about the credit card debt, which I finally got a handle on after a month of calls to various credit card companies and him, 
• fought over trifling matters, while I walked away to ease the process, 
• took 3 years to close out our dealings. 

The boy once told me that he looked at life as a river and that he just floated along wherever it took him. 

I can't think of a more appropriate epitaph for our relationship than that:
Here lies a marriage. He floated along

Edited to add: And she walked away.