I knew I was compromising for a long time but I thought that was what marriages were about - compromise and hard work. The daily indignities, the frustrations over being passed over, the resentment, etc, etc - I thought they were part and parcel of married life.
AND
This is such a big AND...
I didn't trust that I had it in me to hack it alone.
Here I was a strong woman with a job and a feminist to boot and middlingly overwhelming (at the time) things like finances/budgets/credit cards were a reason why I thought I needed to try again
AND
I didn't trust my parents.
I don't know why.
I can't think of a single important time in my life when I needed help that they have turned me away.
But, my mind kept telling me, they are such products of their society and I had fought so hard with them to get this marriage, so I tried once more.
AND
I really, really thought he would change. He had done so in the past - traveling because I liked to, watching new shows (!) because I was into it, trying out intelligence because I had tons of it.
At some point, I realized I had married the potential of what the boy could become and not the boy itself.

In the end, it turned out Everything I had feared & that held me back was doable.

Edit: Not just doable but insanely freeing as well.
I have to say, despite the varied emotional hues I may go through, this is by far the most liberating gift I have ever given myself.