Dating when you're 39

Random Dude: You know, I saw your TEDx video and used it as part of my research.

Me: Awww Thanks! It was definitely...

RD: You were big in that video. You certainly have lost weight since then. 

Me: 

Random Clueless Dude: You know that us, white people and Indians are both caucasians right? 

Me: Ah...I don't know about that. 

RCD: Because Aryans. 

Me: I'm Dravidian though. From the south. 

RCD: We're the same. Trust me. 

Random Pervy Dude: I hope you don't get mad at me but that young lady in the boots in your picture - Is she single? And do you mind passing along this picture to her?

<Insert dick pic>

Random Asian Dude: Trump is despicable but I still voted for him because identity politics and BLM 

Me: You brought about Trump because you didn't like that people wanted others to recognize them and weren't going to take shit lying down. 

RAD: Yes. 

Me: And all this horrible, terrible, no-good disaster that is present day America - it's good with you?

RAD: Worth it.

Random Argentinian dude: <vast amounts of unseemly gifs>

All the Random Indian dudes: 

RID: How about a second date?

Me: I don't think there's much of a connection 

RID: I was just thinking the same thing. And also, some free advice for the next time you get a good guy interested in you. 

<Insert tons of advice on how I can be less me and more an amenable version>