A day after the boy hit me, I called in my contacts and got lawyer referrals.
A week later, I shopped lawyers, divided our marriage assets and started working out the logistics of my sister's move to her new University for her brand spanking new Ph.D (so proud of her!)
Two weeks later, I got our asset division & embryo destruction forms notarized, retained a lawyer and filed for divorce.
In the month or so since that incident, I have moved out, visited Costa Rica, told my amazingly supportive parents and am more at peace than I have been in 4 years.
I remain amazed that I was able to do all of this and know fully well that it would have not been possible had it not been for the incredible support system I have in A.D, M.L, R.P, my siblings, and acquaintances. I also suspect that subconsciously, I have been planning my exit for a while now and hence the expediency by which so much was accomplished in so short a time.
In the years since the in-laws moved in, I have been all manner of things: unhappy, frustrated, angry, enraged, bitter, self-doubting, betrayed and devastated. But today, I am unencumbered. And only have to deal with me | my emotions | my feelings | me. No more living with abstract and often indecipherable rules of communication & etiquette, of living on spite and resentment, of being polite in the face of inane conversations.
It was incredible to me that someone I thought knew could have treated me this shoddily but today, I am deeply grateful that our relationship had become the toxic and leprous one that it did toward the end. And that I could leave with no regrets. Unencumbered by remnants of love or longing.
The world is an amazingly beautiful place and I would have missed so much of it if I was stuck on or with him.
A week later, I shopped lawyers, divided our marriage assets and started working out the logistics of my sister's move to her new University for her brand spanking new Ph.D (so proud of her!)
Two weeks later, I got our asset division & embryo destruction forms notarized, retained a lawyer and filed for divorce.
In the month or so since that incident, I have moved out, visited Costa Rica, told my amazingly supportive parents and am more at peace than I have been in 4 years.
I remain amazed that I was able to do all of this and know fully well that it would have not been possible had it not been for the incredible support system I have in A.D, M.L, R.P, my siblings, and acquaintances. I also suspect that subconsciously, I have been planning my exit for a while now and hence the expediency by which so much was accomplished in so short a time.
In the years since the in-laws moved in, I have been all manner of things: unhappy, frustrated, angry, enraged, bitter, self-doubting, betrayed and devastated. But today, I am unencumbered. And only have to deal with me | my emotions | my feelings | me. No more living with abstract and often indecipherable rules of communication & etiquette, of living on spite and resentment, of being polite in the face of inane conversations.
It was incredible to me that someone I thought knew could have treated me this shoddily but today, I am deeply grateful that our relationship had become the toxic and leprous one that it did toward the end. And that I could leave with no regrets. Unencumbered by remnants of love or longing.
The world is an amazingly beautiful place and I would have missed so much of it if I was stuck on or with him.
2 comments:
Yep, the world is beautiful and has so much to offer. And it awaits you my friend.
I am very proud of you. You deserve on the best in life.
Thank you for letting me back in your world Sheena! I'm so sorry that this had to come to pass, but I'm also extremely grateful that you have come through it quickly and stronger than before.
love,
SC
Post a Comment