What is it that turns me into a boorish snob when I have to interact with my kind under the harsh light of a school auditorium?

I went for my v.first desi society function and I:

• booed (quite loudly, according to the boy) the shoddy and horribly banal hosts who trotted out silly speeches & vote of thanks & inane jokes about desis and blondes
  

• asked and received apology from bunch of desis for cutting in front of me in the line to the food & making fun of me in Hindi.

Bunch of desis - Just because I have curly hair & am from the south does not mean I don't speak Hindi. And just so we are clear - knowing how to use a conditioner does not mean you have to neglect your anti-dandruff shampoos.

• the next one makes me v.ashamed for I (sort of) asked an old aunty why she was shoving me & cutting the line (what the fuck was I - the buffet line police?)?

Old desi aunty - I am just throwing it out there in the hope that the universe will tell you about it - I am sorry. I didn't mean to startle you.

Super loud music.
Shrieking friendless voices (for obviously if they had friends, said friends would have told them about shrieking voices).
Lone black family of friend of little desi girl who were left on their own
while
lone white family of friend of little desi girl was given much, much attention.
Cliched Amrish Puri style speeches of rolling fields and ancient culture which were put to shame by filled-to-vapid-bursting program, with mind numbing waits between 20-I kid you not-performances.

It wasn't, as the local paper declared, 'the best that Indian culture had to offer'.

aRgh.

Once a month, I feel the need to physically connect with people of my colour & the next day, I am physically ill over how isolated I feel in the sea of my kind.


M.L, A.D, friends, Daddy, Amma & family - ditch your respective homes and please move here.
I miss you all so much.