Last weekend, among many happenings, I had a heart-to-heart with a friend.
And as we were exchanging stories of the new states we live in, I told her of how I couldn't relate to particular people & incidents of my life here in sunny state.
She stopped & told me that I shouldn't be offended, but she thought I was v.self-centered and selfish for not reaching out to people who weren't like me.

And it perplexed me to no end. Not because of the redundant terms, but
because I honestly do not see anything offensive about being self-centered.
I admit extreme narcissism is bad for the soul & for the people around you.
But as long as I still deeply care for the people I love, have empathy for those suffering, and don't bore others; I don't see how it could possibly be offensive if I am involved in myself.

The most boring people I have met are those who are so self-effacing that they apologise for existing, who have no clue about who they are because they have not spent time examining themselves,
or who are so afraid of letting themselves out that they create these highly defensive, extremely sensitive personae that are just draining to be around.

When I was v.v.young, I read the Fountainhead and there was a moment in it when somebody accuses a character of being selfish and he turns around and says (& I paraphrase badly)
"to be selfless is to not have a self"
:D