I heard Elliott Smith after such a long while today. I had all but forgotten how much I loved his songs, all those years ago in Madras.
I can't see myself as an aging organism. When I think of me, I always picture the same inside person or soul, going from year to year, picking up experiences & life lessons.
But when I hear Elliott Smith, I remember what 19 was about, how I didn't think I would ever find anybody more cool than my friends (and I never did - M.L, A.D & R.P), how I cried when I first heard the song because I didn't think I would ever be free enough to do the things I really wanted to do, or be the person I really wanted to be.
And how now I know I already was slowly becoming me.
And I can see how desperately young I really was.
I wonder what the songs of today will remind me 10-11 years from now of the person I am today?
Funny, looking through my posts, I see I have already chosen 'my remember these days by' song.
2 comments:
Popping in to say Hey there and whats happening!! :)
you know, reading this post made me realise that i am not the only one only one who thinks one is ageless. I think I am same girl, when I was 16 (or less). Atleast in the inside, and realizing it, is a mixed feeling of all sorts.
But just like you said, at times I do understand that I am all that I wanted to be. And I can be more too..
Its been such a long time, since I've caught up with your blog..!! :)I hope your sister's doing good.
All my love,
Childwoman
Oh, you are right - it IS a mixed feeling of ALL sorts :)
I miss the way you write.
I hope all is well
Hugs!!
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