I've been a fan of NPH from since his tap typing prodigy days of Doogie Howser and love all his new avatars, but Dr. Horrible has become my all time fav!!!




Otherwise it's been a kind of sucky day.
My friend's mom had passed away - can I just say while I sympathise with folks who have to relay bad news to dear ones far away, telling them half truths and keeping aside the miserable news just does not work.
I mean, telling them something's wrong but not going into specifics or worse, telling them somebody is serious but not how serious or worse, dead does no good for anybody.
But who I am to judge when faced with crap situations like that?
We reach and talk in ways v.different to what we think we will do.

My sister was doing better but then got a bout of slight illness. And that was a slight wake up call to me. Because while I am still v. optimistic and my outlook is positive, I am not going to fool myself into thinking that this is a blase something.
It is real and dangerous and we have to be extremely extremely cautious. The reality is, she will be in and out for sometime and till we have reached the 5 year mark of all clear, I don't think any of us can relax.
And that made me slightly go on the downside but not for long. I refuse to let my spirits weaken.
Thank you all for not plying on the platitudes and for just saying the rights things always.
One of the things I am learning is that I hate that we have become "that" family - the one to whom cancer happened.
I think people have been mentioning (v.kindly) that they didn't know how to respond because they haven't experienced anything like in their family and that made me feel so inexplicably lonely because it felt like boundaries had been drawn or something - I can't articulate it.
That's the sad thing about stuff like this - there is really no manual or nothing that is the right thing to say for somebody who's going through a tough time.
I remember trying to reach out to a friend (who I hadn't kept in touch with) who was going through a break up & being roundly told off by her because in my mistaken attempts to do something/anything I had said all the wrong things & had felt so helpless and because I was hurt by her not accepting my clumsy efforts to help, just broke ties with her.
And now I see how wrong I was.
That really sometimes people just lash out or even if your attempts at consolation are wrong, it is such a wrong idea to break ties (rambling here)
The other thing with shit like this is - My emotions are so all over the place that and sometime I find myself just angry, just angry all the time!
I read about this in those grief series or whatever. How people go through anger but I thought that the anger was directed at life or god or fate or whatnots.
But it's not these unknown entities that one feels anger toward - it's people, just innocent bystanders.
I found myself having to control my temper with my poor mom or my patient dad.
And have excused myself numerous times so that I won't lose it with my brother and especially with my boy.
I thought I was over the anger phase but I guess it's not a chronological thing.
Another thing I find myself doing is thinking that this can't be it.
This just can't be our lives.
I am amazed at my seeming incapability at accepting that this is happening to people like us!
And also at my naivete at being surprised that sadness could seep into our lives.
But then I read this by the Gigi writer somewhere & feel better

You must not pity me because my sixtieth year finds me still astonished. To be astonished is one of the surest ways of not growing old too quickly
- Collette

Anyhoo, I leave you with a better, more well articulated rant about our national tragedy. Cheerios amigos! (weirdly inappropriate but oh well)



and this

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Mumbai Tragedy

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

As always the post for ideas for my sis' care package is here. Please let me know if you have any thoughts/comments/ideas on what to get her.