Not ready to make nice

It's going to take time before we know for sure if the Boy has his work visa.
And I am going through my own stages of grief with this thing

First, I was shocked that this totally unexpected hurdle had jumped out at us.

Next, I was brave in the face of denial, where I assiduously negated everything we were going through or that we were even going through anything.
A kind of 'OF COURSE, we are going to so win the work visa lottery' thing.

Then I went through the 'brave in the face of adversity', where I again assiduously (i am nothing if not consistent and obsessive) , thought of all the hurdles we had overcome and how we had done so,
very much along the lines of Joan of Arc and the fiery pool of the 'that which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger' type
Simultaneously going through the 'troubles come to all' phase, which led to making a list of troubles that other people i know have

'A - oh, A is going through financial problems
B - check for boy problems
C - Children problems
D - stuck in geographic hell hole problem
E - E is E and anybody who has misfortune of being vapid as E has problems, even if they don't know it'

Like the list, I have progressed to annoyed, and mad as hell phase
not at the luckless immigration policies
but at just about everybody else
The poor, darling Boy who has been consistently calm through it all
The lovely supportive-if-I-would-let-them parents
And everybody else.

I want instant gratification and resolution ASAP
I want to lose tires around body
and be married in beautiful, private lake side resort wedding in Sin city (that Boy and I had opted for after vendor-caterer run around troubles and after we figured that life wouldn't end if we didn't invite the 150 or so people we were thinking of inviting)
and start life with boy - NOW.

So world - I am totally unreasonable now and no amount of well intentioned advice will change that.

The bright side of all this is that i am becoming one of those 'fearless, super assertive, stare down your inanity, finger snapping, risk taking' on crack people at work

The way I look at it - If I am having hurdles, I might as well either toughen myself or take as many as risks as possible, because what the hell, the hurdles are there anyways.

I am just not in the mood to be nice anymore.

The fiery pool has hardened core and I intend to wallow in it for some time.