Ompf
I am exahusted
and Tired
and PMSing
and split in two trying to figure out if I am really exahusted or just irritable.
The boy and I have been those weird weeks you have when you haven't seen each other in a hundred months or 3 .
And the friend of a friend who cheated and I are talking again after a weird silence
And again, I am split about if I liked the silence better than this over exhaustive outpouring of the inner workings of her mind.
i totally get it and I totally can't help
And I am totally going crazy trying to stop myself from screaming
Because really what can you do when others' emotions are twisted and tangled up.
But listen.
Rather helplessly and sometimes if the friend is a new and distant one, with a wee bit of exhausted boredom.
My event is chugging along nicely.
Bigboss called me in today to sit in on a negotiation with vendor
"Always negotiate", he says with energy driven sparkle, "You have worked too hard not to."
Which sounded like a wise sensai moment at the time
But now makes me think,
Dang it! Is that what he was thinking when he engaged me in negotiation over my salary???
i've worked too hard to give this kid her dues.
Uhmm...
Sensais should never reveal their tricks.
All this work has made me almost forget what it feels like to do mindless things at work.
I also think that living in smalltownamerica has made me a more aggressive driver.
I honked at old lady driving at 20 mph on a posted 45 mph road.
And,
I gave her a very very dirty look when I passed her.
After which I immediately felt guilty and ashamed only because oh lord, what if she belongs to the new bible class study that I joined two days ago?
And stands up and outs me in front of christian community has the dirty honking looker giver ??
uHMM..
I thought the bible study would be more like the Vacation Bible Schools we went to in school in Bahrain.
But all it consists of right now is 4 senior citizens and I watching a DVD of a woman with big hair scream out affirmations for sisters in christ.
The volume really is on too loud.
And I really do want to go back to VBS.
And the boy.
We are sooo getting married or something next year.
Sooo getting married.
3 comments:
My town isn't so small anymore, but there are parts of it that still have small-town-feel. When I come up on old people driving slowly, I imagine them as my grandparents and that I need to be careful and not startle them. They are driving because they need to - not because they necessarily want to. Thank goodness they're going slowly and not racing (with their eyesight and lack of hearing, that would be even MORE dangerous).
I'm facing a do-we-take-her-license-away moment with my mother in law... she can only see out of one eye and hear with one ear. It's scary to think that she's out there on the road, but because of where they live, there is no other option.
Ouch. Sayre,
Never will I honk at another old lady, now. Ouch.
Hope you are able to get through the moment.
thanks.
That was a funny post, about being 'outed'.
Sayre does have a point.
I wouldn't drive if I didn't have to. :)
M.L.
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