I have been to a therapist,
which may not be the complete reason I think I am riding a crest.
I think it's a series of changes I/we are trying to institute in our lives.
I was listening the other day to World Have Your Say & it was about this study in the U.K which talks about how people are hitting mid life crisis earlier & earlier in life.
And it set me thinking - I am in a funk, no doubt about it.
But it may not be the tragedy i think it is.
I am v.self-involved.
But I am learning to not be so consciously guilt ridden about it.
True, I am still yearning for things.
But what I hate more than the yearning stage is the faux-helpless not doing anything about it stage.
I think i was indulging myself into such a vortex that it took even doing something minor like going to a therapist and hearing myself talk on the couch for me to realize that OMG the probs are work-through-able!
And the tiny steps - going out with friends, having dinner out with the bOy, talking to the besties, thinking outside of me, and indulging in work related stuff - made me realize while yes, I am going through hard times, it hasn't defeated me.
And so I am putting away my sad boots and wearing my I-can-fracking-d o-this boots.
3 comments:
Good for you...:)
Also I find Yoga actually really helps me to relax as well...clears the mind :)
reading this was such an inspiration.. for many things..
Hi, came to your blog from beksandro. Like the way you write and can identify with many of the things you say.
I wanted to comment on your 'I have bum ovaries' posts, but felt you may not see those comments, so am taking the liberty of writing here.
I am 31. From the age of 18, I have been told than I have severe PCOS. Several doctors told me that if I didn't have a child soon, age and a thickening ovarian wall, combined with PCOS would make my chances of conceiving close to nil. This bothered me a bit, but not too much as there is a history of adoption in my family and I was sure I would adopt a child if I wanted one. Besides, I couldn't get together with the next man on the street just to have a kid!
Life, PhD, job, a new marriage and various things took over and my baby worries, if any, were shelved. A few months ago, I discovered I was pregnant. I was happy, especially as I had been spared the crazy trying, medication and worry that a meticulously planned and much-yearned-for baby would have brought.
My old gynaecologist aunt, who began her career in the early 1950s, has always scoffed this PCOS epidemic. She attributes it to our access to ultrasound and other technologies that her generation never had. Even if they were all suffering from PCOS, they never knew, and most went on to have several kids. They also saved pots of money on new-fangled fertility treatment and correctives or enhancers of various sorts.
My main point (sorry for going on and on): give yourself time. It is very very likely that things will work out for you. Ah and yes, once you're done spending on pre-conception medication, you have all sorts of ante-natal pills and props to look forward to, not to even begin mentioning the huge baby industry out there that is just waiting to grab you with offers of prams and cots and clothes and nutrients and goodness knows what!
All the very best,
Natasha
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