I used to be able to spill my angst with such ease here but now feel so very inhibited.

And then I read Beks' little post on finding friends & I suddenly remembered what catharsis there is in finding a 'you too?' post.

Which reminds me of C.S.Lewis & of the wonderful, wonderful email M.L sent which was so full of delicious tidbits. & then I think of A.D & our wonderful daily talks that sustains me every day & then I think of R.P & then it makes me think of work & how I fretted for half an hour there on why I was debating myself on whether I may have undiagnosed ADD.

So to prevent the further disintegration of my attention, here's a organized list of happenings.

Good Happenings:

• Maybe if i persist, it will come.
• Ok, 1) my sis & I now have a relationship. It's hard being part of a trio, where you get along better with one member more than the other. And even while i was in India helping her out during the c phase, i was bemoaning the whole lack of relationship. And in the midst of it all, something broke open and a genuine bond was forged. It could also have a lot to do with the boy's brother being a semi-permanent resident @ my home. I understand that friendship borne of comparison may not be a great starting point, but I think my sister's vivaciousness & tenacity stands out in sharp relief against the boy's brother's understated presence. And every day, in many little ways, I am discovering more of her.
• I got a mac for the anniversary gift. Which was a complete & delightful surprise.
• And I also got my long lost love in an upgraded form - the lovely & beautiful Yarris! No other car fits me like this does. No other car makes me purr with satisfaction like this does. It just gets me so well.
• I still love the boy. Despite in-laws and various other annoyances.
• I still have a job.
• The besties (save the lovely m.L) & I reaffirmed US (not the country but us - I think old age has acerbated my anal retentiveness) in a glorious, filled with joy & love trip to NYC, where we walked 10 blocks talking and stayed up the whole night talking around the city & the light of day found us @ Times Square, still spry enough to take silly pics, after which we headed back to our hotel, jumped in the shower, walked to Central Park, breakfasted on deliciousness there and talked some more in the beautiful loveliness. I am humbled and grateful for the 15 yr history I share with these strong women.
• The lovely M.L. is pregnant. And I am so immensely happy for her. I can't think of any other soul who has such calm sense & such rib tickling wit & intelligence than this lady. And I can not wait for her lovely little progeny to meet her. He has such a wonderful life ahead of him with her as his mom.
• Our dreams are slowly edging towards fruition.

Bad Happenings

• Our dreams (3 to be exact - a dream house in short sale (is there a worse misnomer???), silly eggs in ill-functioning organs, cautiously moving administration) are slowly edging towards fruition. How slowly? So-slowly-that-it-barely-registers-as-a-motion- slowly!
• I get crabbier by the day @ annoying perkiness. The perkiness that comes from having read the Secret, the ones that go around visualizing happy thoughts & thinking positively.

Perky Secret Lovers - here's a little secret - you should go frack yourself!

• Your unsolicited DeepakChopraRubbishDisguisedasSpirtualism BS is why I projectile snark & scream! Get off my lawn 'cause clearly the girl who would take that well-intentioned but clearly misdirected aid lives next door. Here lives the soul of curmudgeonly, foul mouthed, Hmpfing @ the happiness of others, OscarTheGrouch loving (even-@ the wee age of 7) grumbler!
• Uhmm...that's it

I tread slightly more lightly. Thank you to the ever talented Beks for her lovely little post that made it so!