As part of my new year's resolution to 'not stay in my corner of the forest', we volunteered at a Soup kitchen over the weekend and it was the most disquieting experiences of my life.
(Yes, 'our' life does revolve around 'my' resolutions & thoughts)

You know that cliche about serving others being exhilarating.
Yeah, it wasn't so. I mean, I was glad I was there but all I wanted to do after was take a nice, long scouring shower. And throw up. Which I did.

So many things I didn't take into account:

• when you think of volunteering at a soup kitchen, you don't quite realize how filled with the nitty-gritty the process is.
• you also don't realize that, irrespective of social circumstance, people can & do treat each other with dignity and grace. It was like I was in a play where manners ruled.
• I wasn't quite ready to see the drastically desperate situation of others.
• & definitely wasn't prepared for how it could unbalance my soul's equilibrium

I also didn't realize there were so very many homeless or poverty stricken people in Jacksonville. Our soup kitchen saw about 508 customers on this Saturday & we are just one of many kitchens operating in this area. It's not because I am some sort of rose coloured * spectacle-wearing ingenue, it's just that in India the poor are so much more visible.


* (does anybody else feel, every once in a while, like inserting the spelling you were born into, just so that you don't totally forget it?)


Jacksonville is a fairly midsize city but I have only ever come across people asking for change once or twice.
So it struck me in a harsh way to realize there were about 508 people in my city who were in such need.

You know that phrase 'There but for the grace of God'. It just feels wrong now. Because what does it mean? That grace was kept away from others? But, Why?
And it even seems wrong to say 'we were blessed' because why would God / or whoever you believe in keep blessings away from others but select you/us for it.

So, volunteering at soup kitchen was not glamorous, not uplifting, did not have earth shattering consequences & makes me socially useless the rest of the day. & makes me want to overindulge on glam pretty bright tv for the rest of the day.
But it's one of those things that I think I have to keep doing because god, sometimes you have to get out and do rather than think good deeds.

Since I am on a do-gooding roll, Haiti still needs help.

That's the other thing about volunteering. Even doing an afternoon of it feeds my smugness to unbearable limits.
I think the boy is a better human than I for he volunteered, made friends and went about his day after with nary a thought on what a great human he is.


Edited to add:
Completely unrelated to altruism : But whilst (aha!) @ the Soup Kitchen, I was befriended by a couple of college grads who thought I was 23. Thank you kind parents for your wonderful genes and for teaching me how to moisturize.