I am losing my hair.
Not metaphorically.
And Not in tiny hairs on my pillow type either.
but in a 'I can see my scalp' way
Before anybody says, oh but you like you have a whole nest on your head at the wedding, that was all thanks due to my excellent hairstylists who gave me tons of extensions.
I am mildly freaked out - I keep seeing myself in a Miss Havisham sort of way, in dated bridal finery, with a circle of long hair and a bald head - combing and combing and having tufts of it come out.
I have to get myself an appointment with my dermatologist and get this figured out.

I should be having raging nightmares and panic attacks but I just can't seem to muster the energy.
I am sinking deeper and deeper into a lethargic existence and oh so putting back on the pounds - its come to the point that I am beginning to enjoy the laziness of it all. One day blends into the next in a haze of inactivity.
i have no job currently and the distant prospect of one in the future depends on my ability to learn varied information and taking a four hour test - loong boring story
That's what I should be doing. But Instead, I facebook. :)
There's no angst in this, but only a mild observatory amusement - so lethargy must have sunk real deep.

I am also not reading as much as I used to.
And definitely not working out as much as I used to.
And for sure, I am not doing anything else as much as I used to.
Instead, I am becoming rather catty - especially to the perky perks out there, who really are worse than the jerks -
Perky people write inane messages that are brimming with nonsensical cliches of sunshine. Jerks write inane messages that are brimming with obnoxious meanderings - mostly about themselves with nary a question about your well being.
Perky people also try to fill in comfortable silences by chattering on about the fact that Arjun Rampal really shouldn't have agreed to have a moustache in Rock On! when you personally thought the drooping moustache was rather apt for the character's life. Jerks talk about the same during the scenes when one was trying to focus more deeply on Rampal's naked top
Perky people also use way too many exclamation points. Jerks just ... yeah, I have nothing here.
It maybe that I genuinely dislike perky people or that I am just bored out of my wits right now or that this is one of those self-flagellation things where I am hating in others things I dislike about myself ?
can not muster energy to examine myself more deeply
so thinking of making resolution to stop wholly disgusting sluggish behavior
And in between, of watching Project Runway, a thought comes in that maybe I should go back to school...start a new career...but can't think in what....

Must. make. a. change... maybe. tomorrow.