For the past week, I have been doing Nothing about the wedding.
i have been on a self imposed exile from the wedding prep and concentrating on getting the new place habitable for adults.
The boy and I got our furniture that we had to assemble and it looks nice but takes so much work! And I have been sort of doing the 'uhmm...maybe if I do a bad job at tightening this bolt, I can be left alone to read my book' thing. Which is massively evil of me! but oh, I wanted to be left alone with my books & thoughts. atleast just for a bit
I have been weirdly nostalgic about random things that I will never get to experience again
actually just two - a first kiss & dates
I know I should be infused with romantic notions about life with boy, but I know what that life entails and I felt this last week, i was taking stock of the my other life that is coming to an end. That single life where dressing up for a party involved notions & hopes of good, flirty first convos with nice smelling men, and so much more. the surprise kiss, the surprise crush, the 'will he / won't he' the 'should I/maybe yeses'
Which really, technically, came to end 6 years ago when the Boy came into my life.
But this is the first time I am taking stock of it.
And then, I spent time thinking of all the men I have lusted after, the ones who lusted after me, the ones I kissed, the ones who could have been but weren't, the ones you yearn for but are glad never became....
That's it, it was like a mental revisiting of the things I had, the things I may be giving up.
And now I am ready to be deliriously happy & invested about assembling furniture & the upcoming nuptials.

I am also tired of all the work we have to do for the wedding.
my parents arrive next Friday & I want everything but the cupcakes to be done before them.

And I am sickeningly tired, to the bottom of my bridal heart, of all the nonsensical but well intended advice I have been getting about marriage.
What is it about upcoming weddings that make people spout out advice about married life?
Random people, blog people, acquaintances, cousins, aunts and so on and so forth.
i love people but really I don't want any more pearls of wisdom.
After you have been doing it and living together and sharing finances and having to bloody well work through it all, you don't have time to listen to some starry eyed 25 year old tell you that 'that marriage is all about compromise but is so worth it' and 'its' best to never go to bed angry'
no shit sherlock!
I think the universal rules should be, you are good to go
- if farting during sex does not faze you anymore,
- if shaving your legs is only for other people
- if the rules of remote sharing are clearly defined and have been in operation for more than 2 years

I think maybe it is the age thing and the differing circumstances that make me not want to hear anybody's advice.
If they are not older to me, and I have not had to go through my kind of struggles I don't want to hear how it all came together in the last minute.
Also, I am heartily sick of random strangers asking me about the honeymoon.
The Boy and I are not doing it right now! And yes, that is different but OMG, it is not the end of the world.

Other than that, i just want to get to the day and look gorgeous and see pretty things around me & be in the boy's arms and dance the night away with him.
When I think of Aug 15, I see the boy and I in the midst of crowd of 50 of our closest family & friends. Just surrounded by love, and good will and in each other's sight and arms.

I also had to finally make a decision about my car.
It is completely unrepairable.
It just lies there in the junk yard, broken. So my little car is v.def. gone.
However, the promise of brand new car, because of the v.excellent insurance the boy made me get, looms in the horizon!!!