Post-crash

My neck and back have stopped hurting.
I got one hour on a lovely massage chair and then got a neck massage vibrating thingy from the boy. Say what you will for the massage challenged boy, he always makes up for his shortcomings with technological addendums
Uhmm...that doesn't sound completely right but you get the drift.

I think what bothered me most about the accident was that I couldn't piece together what happened.
It bothered me to no end because I am just not that person to be careless about lights, speed limits and such. I am obsessive about driving rules
After the crash, People kept talking around me and I just couldn't fathom how this all happened.
I don't even remember the lights being red, i do remember I was under the speed limit, so what - I ran the red light ???
It just can't be. I am just not that person who willfully sees a red light and goes - uhmm...i think I can run it and get away with it.
So the whole thing was a complete blur to me, as to what happened and how it happened.

Yesterday, the boy & I drove by the place on our way to dinner and the boy was like - I have been thinking of your accident and see, this curve, and the huge trees and bushes, you probably rounded this curve, hit the overhanging branches of the trees and didn't even realize there was a light here. It just is not that obvious that there is a light here. You have to know there is a light to actually realize it.

And the light went off.
Oh my god. ..because I just don't remember the red light.
It was such a huge relief to figure out what happened.
I felt I was going a little crazy trying to figure how it all happened. i thought I was going senile.

I was telling this to the boy & he was like - Yeah, I figured you'd be worried, so I drove by here ma couple of times to try to figure out how it all happened.

I was so overwhelmed by his concern & care. that I tried crying and kissing him all at the same time.