Today, I give in my notice/resignation etc.
I feel guilty that they went through all the trouble of giving me this promotion just for me to dump them after two weeks.
But, says the other part of me, they weren't able to meet my remote request and at the end of the day, I have an empty apartment to come home to. So, maybe I am more nervous about how the whole thing will play out than the guilt thing.
How office friends (who have become much more) will react to 29th being my last day because I never gave then any hints & did agree to all the tentative plans they made of us doing summer stuff together.
But the thing that bothered me a wee bit out was the fact that our wedding venue contract didn't fax well.
It's the silliest thing in the world but the place tried emailing me the contract on Thursday but there were some negotiations that the boy & I had (which makes us sound like such a power couple!) requested that needed to be inserted.
Then they tried faxing it to me on Friday, which didn't work.
Then they tried faxing it to the boy on Friday, which worked but came out faded.
I refuse to go that part of my head which says, this whole wedding is so much work and nothing seems to be easy.
I refuse to be all worrisome again
but I did feel a tiny bit vulnerable and fragile.

The worrisome thoughts about the contract tried sneaking back in:

• Throughout the evening on Friday as we watched Blade Runner in high def at a friend's 50 inch awesome TV (it was brilliant, brilliant I tell you. And Rutger's last 'Time to Die' speech was as wrenching as ever)

• Not too much on Sunday afternoon when we watched the Nascar Daytona 500 with friends (which I thought would be another American sport I would not get but I did get it. It was a bit slow but if I could sit through Test matches , this was easy-peazy)

• But then, was forced to think about Sunday evening when my aunt called and asked for dates so she could take leave & that most shattering of question 'are you sure it won't be postponed again'

I gave the nonchalant 'we are sure as sure can be but there are other factors (like boy's father's health) to consider' answer but it's still one of those 'cringe cringe ouch' question.

By Sunday night, the internal contract dialogue was running through my head in a loop.

I had to force myself to stop.
I just can not be this obsessive about things anymore.
I need to be more Que Cera, Ceraish like the boy.

Deep Breath in.
Bothersome thoughts out.

Update:
I am such a silly goose. I need to quit going monkey crazy on minor details.