UGH

There's got to be a polite way to refuse invitations from banal acquaintances
There's got to be.

1. I mean, there's the pleasant acceptance of invitation, after which you do a turn around and just hit delete from social calendar, hoping that if any bother to call you to say - WTH, why didn't you turn up, you can claim old age and failing memory.
2. There's the snarky 'no, too busy watching nails grow to waste hour with your trite self' reply
3. There's also the 'grandfather just passed away so I can't possibly accept any invitations for a year' reply.

But I need something stronger, firmer and more cutting-to-the-point-real than that.
The thing is, when acquaintance is flash from the past, you know the invitation is the first step to the invariable 'are you married yet, how many kids do you have, what are you doing with your life beside put feet up" beastly info drill.
And then there are the ones who don't even ask these questions and jump straight into the 'what is your hubby's name?"
And when you try and be snarky and say - 'no, no "hubby" right now. just boyfriend? fiance? who I used to live in sin with', they go hahahaha, you have always been the funny one but seriously though, how many kids do you have?"
Acquaintances whose lives have followed a straight line to anywhere invariably ask these silly generic questions that have no concise answers for others who choose more curved, winding paths.
It's like when I first left high school in Dubai, where pretty much every friend's life mirrored mine, and went to college in India.
The first thing you learn is - never ask anybody what their parents do or siblings or anything about their family unless they invite you in.
Because college in India had people with lives that involved death, suicide, depression, disease and other sundry realities.
And it's an intrusion into their privacy when you ask what you thought were generic safe questions.
I don't even wish to discuss my job with this person. That's how little I care. I mean, if the collective lot of us were honest with each other, how many indifferent acquaintances do we carry along in life simply because we fear offending them when we cut ties or simply because indiff. acquaintance is connected to interesting acquaintance or because you are curious to know what's happening in their life but from a distance-which-doesnot-involve-making-conversation curious?
I'd like to be completely honest with this person and say - you are, I am sure, a wonderful person. But your intensity grated me a bit back then too and we didn't get along then either. Time hasn't changed much. Like the M.L says, people are like jigsaw puzzles and sometimes the puzzles don't fit. I think you shouldn't waste time by inviting me anymore. Have a great life!

But unfortunately, I am too much of a wimp to do that.
Instead, I did the snarky reply and then the silence on the web (which even I, a recovering 'friend of the world' know is the death knell to overtures of reigniting friendship).
If that fails, there is always the hope that acquaintance will chance upon blog.
PS: if there are people out there to whom I am the banal acquaintance, feel free to go ahead and delete me. I will not be offended at all.
Or send me an email that says "delete"
How wonderful would that be?
When the M.L moved away from collegeinIndia oh eons ago, we used to fiercely email each other. To make sure we were still we through written word, we had codes for our idiosyncrasies. eg: <> meant we were being sarcastic with each other.
I'd like to adopt code that email with just the word "delete" from now on symbolizes, that others don't want to keep in touch with me or vice versa.