Sad Thought!

I am done being. I don't want to go to work. i don't want to stay at home. I don't want to get out of my bed. I want to slip inside covers. I want to hibernate. I want to move to New York City. I want to let hordes of people jostle me. I want to be consumed by something other than this. I love the boy. I hate the boy. I love the parents to death. I don't love the parents to death. I wish I could stop crying when i speak to them. I wish I could start speaking instead. I want the mother and father to stop hurting. I wish the relatives would all go to hell. The wedding's our prerogative. The wedding isn't our prerogative. I am high one day. I am low the next. I am high low lusting all in another. I feel guilty. I feel malicious. I feel hurt. I want my friends. I don't want my friends. I miss the boy. I am super sarcastic - damn you - forging different path desi chick the next. I am crying the very next. I am all just worn. I am all just undone.

i am thinking the redhead and I and others and maybe more others need to go smoke some.