An interrupted hiatus
1. Life is hard.
And tough and yes I know, I am just too much of a bohemian klutz who lives in lalaland not to have gotten used to this fact.
The boy and I applied for our work visas on Monday and would you believe it, the quota got filled and overflowing on the very first day of quota.
And now it's all one big lottery.
WTF???
So, now the boy and I are thinking about back up options.
Not considered are the following options:
Going back to India.
Going back to B'desh
Going back to Dubai (maybe)
Going back to school (definetely maybe)
I don't know. I don't know.
So,
There you have it.
The boy and I have problems.
2. Because of above visa problem, I am not entirely sure we will be getting married this year. I haven't talked to the boy about it yet.
It's a bit like an albatross that keeps circling our conversations and threatens to swoop in every now and then.
In my heart and on my blog, I can't see how we can plan a wedding when we have to spend so much money going back to school or when there is so much uncertainity surrounding the work visa.
Going back to school means giving up job and so on and so forth.
And we have to think more about future security and yada yada yada.
So, I am slowly and irrevocably getting used to the idea that we may not be married thisyear.
And really, as I type this,
I firmly believe I am in shock.
because if I really think about having to explain to my family about the whole postponement of wedding,
about not getting married this year, I will bawl. And rail against the gods, and be very. very. upset.
there are so many hurdles to this wedding - first the parents, then the money and now when everything seems ok, the visa problem.
And I feel like throwing a tantrum
Or just screaming and crying.
What the hell??
Maybe, we will win the visa lottery.
Maybe, we will just have a courthouse wedding
I looked at the calendar in my office and wished I had a Marty Mcfly time machine so I could zip myself past these 'struggles that give character and make the stuff of tales for one's children'
And then I thought of all the happy, lovely people with happy, lovely, simple lives and don't like them at all today.
Roomie is watching some show on TV, some kid asking his father,
"When did you decide to be manager of distribution and product supply manager?"
And .oh.
It's the The Wonder Years,
And it makes me think of my all time favorite wonder years moment that I carried with me for so many years.
It's where Winnie and Kevin went to a dance with-not-each-other and after falling out with their not-each-other partners,
they wander around,
each in their own corner in a crowd of dancing people, walking and looking and searching, alone, in the crowd
and this narration:
"All of our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone that makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope. All the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect who might be searching for us. "
And thinking about it makes me happy and forget about hurdles of now.
Because really, despite everything, I have found my someone with whom I know I can face life's everythings.
So. we'll be ok. Unmarried this year, maybe, but still ok.
30 comments:
OMG!! That is sooo unbelievably cruel.
I feel your pain. I could compare it to when my parents told me I could not marry DH. Its almost like betrayal..Hey! Have you guys considered Australia?
Check it out on http://www.dimia.gov.au/
Life is full of trials and tribulations (trying to sound like my dad with his grave voice), but often you just have to hang on to that one precious thing: knowing that everyone else's life is also full of them (that's my voice now). Trust me not a SINGLE person I know has had everything smooth sailing with plans be it weddings, study, work etc.
You have the BOY and that is most of the hurdle crossed. You will be OK.
Shit thats just terrible. Don't worry. Something will work out.
On another note, it's ironic - I was just watching wonder years before getting online.
Me,
Here's a prayer for you to win the visa lottery.
I was really feelin bad for you, till I read the last few lines..you are right..that's ALL that matters..that's all that would ever matter..
Afterthought: Some LOTS of money would do no harm though :-)
What type of visa did you specifically apply for?
...omg... me...i know how it feels...the guy next to me is going through this....don't worry... everything will work out well for u guys...
How nice that in the midst of all of your worries and stress, you realize how amazing it is that you and Boy have each other. Your favorite Wonder Years reminds me of that Rumi quote:
"The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along."
I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you, Me.
OMG! OMG! Sweetie, if it is any consolation, Orwell and I went through the exact same thing only in our case it was only my visa.....and it all worked out in the end. Why dont you just go to the courthouse and get married, it will atleast get one pressure off your head. Then you can do a huge gorgeous blessing at your convenience.
Have you thought about becoming naturalized citizens? I don't know exactly how the process works these days, but my father became a citizen after I was born because he realized that he really was an American in his heart (and he married an American Girl). I know there are classes involved and I suppose you have to apply for the process but if you think you might want to stay here, you might want to check it out.
In the meantime, I keep you in my thoughts.
big big hugs.
i hope everything works out. my bestest wishes are with you.
also look into the HSMP visas in the UK, they're relatively straight forward and is way better than the H1. (I'm assuming that's what you applied for.)
and if it's any consolation, i've had visa hassles for the past 6 years and as far as i know i will continue to have visa hassles for a few more years.
i love my country, but hate my passport.
Oh NO!!! That is terrible! how about applying for green card? I hear the GC process is quicker these days, not that much backlog...you can apply by yourself, not necessarily through your company.
keeping my fingers and toes crossed and knocking on wood for you to win the Visa lottery!
oh babes, that is so terrible - do you know when you'll know? I think I agree with Akkare, courthouse now and big hooha at leisure.
Needless to say, I'm praying that your visas come through
why is it that every woman who comes to this blog seems to think that their life is nothing without a man... tch! tch! So much for women's liberation and all that we fought for....
ahem, is anyone going to respond to that ?
Me, love the way you're taking it. You're right, you've got the boy, boy's got you. Everything else will fall into place. *hugs* till then!
Yeah, I second Beks and Akkare, why not a courthouse thingy now and then later the-whole-nine-yards ?
Annon - it was good talking to you today.
30in2005 - You are soooo right about trials and tribulations but somehow I always feel I should be exempt from it all (that's me at my narcissitic, lazy best) :) seriously though, I am finally getting it.
Fireflies - Thanks. We WILL get through it. The charm of wonder years never fades, yeah?
3inone - Thank you.
Everyone - you said it. pot of money would sooo be good too :)
Thanks a ton me.
Girlysmack - I hadn't heard of rumi before. that quote is lovely :)
Akkare - I think it helps my psyche to know that other people go and are going through the same visa hurdles too. Like 30 said, trials and tribulations.
Sayre - thanks sayre, we are looking into alternatives.
DW - I hear you on the 'love my country, hate my passport' bit.
Magicrna - :) We are definetely looking into other options.
Beks & Akkare & Arrack - yeah .... the whole courthouse thing is so what I want now. really I just want to get the thing over and done with and deal with the rest later.
Annon - a bit of a hasty generalisation, isn't it? I mean, of course all the comments are talking about the boy because the post was about my frustration at the hurdles the boy and I are facing in getting together.
Hello?
I don't think it takes away anything from my identity as a woman in knowing what I want and I want the boy and intend to be with him.
And please, what's with your pity and condescension? You know nothing of these women or their struggles or their courage.
H1B Visas.. was just reading a new article on it. Yeh, I personally think it's a dumb idea to do a lottery for something like this. No wonder I love Europe :D
Going back to Dubai.. I think you know Dubai will welcome you with open arms. Lol!!
I too want a Marty Mcfly time machine :( My destiny will rather be decided in the next 86 days. hmmm and i'm solely to be blamed for it.. damn, this is worse!!
Oh boy, this is just awful. I don't know what to say. :-(
(((Hugs)))
I don't know what to say either, but I'm thinking about you...and don't throw out that sari just yet.
I don't know what to say either, but I'm thinking about you...and don't throw out that sari just yet.
(BIG HUG) I'm sending you positive vibes.
And P.S. I'm not sure you should waste your time responding to a negative comment about "identity" from someone who decides to remain anonymous.
Hi Me- Can you please give me your e-mail address? Mine is mint_chutney@yahoo.com
Thanks!
Me,
I love reading your posts. And equally, love reading all the comments your visitors post. Incredible set of people.
Agree totally with Mint's views on the anonymous condescending commentator.
Sending positive energy from across the pond...hope it all works out.
I was one of those women who had to have courthouse wedding only with a big party later. It was great! The wedding was very personal with just 10-12 of our close family and friends.
And yes, go for it when you feel like - I do regret not having the courthouse wedding much earlier.Would have reduced so much of the uncertainity.
Have a good Easter break and try to enjoy the miracle that is your relationship with the boy:)
-Sunrayz
No, I cannot believe that all of this could fall through the cracks. I have to believe that you and the boy will have your wedding. Despite my mood, I'm much too much of an optomist to believe otherwise.
I'm sending you good vibes, my dear...
Mr.j, Mint, 3inone, attila, Nikki, Paperback, all - I think we'll be fine. It's the wait and see period of this month that will be a bit tough but other than that we'll be fine. Thanks you guys!!!
Mint, it's desiinsmalltimeamerica@yahoo.com
Sunrayz - thank you for all the postive vibes. The whole courthouse wedding with big party after is sounding more and more attractive.
from an Ammachy let me tell you courthouse will be just fine--and who says you can't wear the sari to the courthouse? You just have to change the image in your mind of the perfect wedding! You can always do that on your, maybe 10th(?)anniversary :)
all the very best for this time ahead.
and lovely end to the post. i loved that show. Its good to see that whatever happens, you have that someone, and the beautiful something to pull you through...
How did the visa lottery go ? Hope all is well...
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