4pm
"Me?"
"Hey Giggly friendwhomovedtohotasheckcity. What's going on?"
"So, I have some shocking news. Are you ready?"
"Good or bad?"
"Good but shocking"
"Ok. Go"
"P & I have decided to get married."
"And..? You guys have always..."
"No no. like right now. We are going to get married as soon as we can get a court date"
"sweet arrows of aphrodite. Really?"
"Yeah. sometime after May 9th. 50 dollars and that's it!"
"EEEEK!!!!!!Giggles. We'll come down - roomie & I and maybe the boy. I am so happy for you!!!!! Dang, giggles"
"yEah!"
God I am so happy - they have really been through so.
5pm
Still happy
5:30 pm
Called boy to tell him.
"Oh..yeah? When?"
"As soon as they can get a court date."
"That's sudden. Cool, though. Are their parents coming?"
"No. yeah, it's sudden but smart people don't need time to get things all lined up before they make the decision to get married."
H.a.ve. sepa-r-a-ted from-b o d y and watching m y s e l f going t u m b l i n g
d
o
w
n hole for cray, nagging psychotics
I swear I wasn't upset about it. JuSt thrilled and happpy for her.
Truly.
But the words just kept coming out.
once I said it, I couldn't revert back to normal me.
Hung up, deeply ashamed and trying to justify it by blaming boy.
Weird and totally useless.
8 pm
"Hey, so what's going on?"
"Nothing Boy."
"Look. It'll be ok. We are going to be fine. Married and fine. I love you."
"I know. It's just that she's getting married and I have always dreamed of it and planned so much and really, they are making this decision and I am wondering why we can't do it also, but then I think god, I am too fat to have wedding pictures taken because I want to be skinny and beautiful and really, it's just so unfair and I sometimes I feel we are growing apart and maybe you don't love me so much and then Daddy and Amma are going to Egypt and Israel and I miss them because we always have so much fun travelling and I miss travelling abroad and what if we never get to travel and then ..."
"Yes. All sad. We've been here before. Move on."
* Boink *
"Look, honey. You can't keep going back and picking at the same wound. Right now you are not seeing anybody else but you. It is upsetting, I know, but it happend and we dealt it. Let's go forward. I love you."
* Boink, Boink *
Have been forced to see true picture of myself.
SCARY & UGLY & a bit on the Selfish side.
I am ejecting it out again.
And back to being happy for all. genuinely happy.
12 comments:
smart people don't need time to get things all lined up before they make the decision
Maybe... or maybe not.. either ways I love that line.
awwww...
**HUGS**
Sweetie,
it will be fine. really. really fine. you will be married and together and happy.
really.
I lOVE that line too.
"smart people don't need time to get things all lined up before they make the decision"
***hugs*** , the universe is going to be on your side soon! Take care !
hey everything will work out! dont get so tensed... just coz someone else is doing that doesnt mean its the right thing for you and the boy to do!
I know I should not laugh....but you are slowly but surely losing it, arent you sweetie? Thank God for the Boys and the Orwells of the world.
When it happens - that is the right time, my friend! And all these posts and all the angst will melt away to become stories about your relationship - things to look back on, fondly or not, when you marvel at how lovely it is to be together!!! Wait. Be patient. It sounds harder than it is....
Honey! Take a deep breath. You'll be fine. When this is all over with it'll be nothing but a memory.
I say - three cheers the boy!
I felt THE SAME before I got married. It seemed to me as if the whole world was becoming 'smug-married' while I was whithering away...!! Literally !!
I think you are entitled to feel as 'blah' as you want girl. Just make it point to pepper it with happy thoughts :)
sigh.
Please all, laugh away.
I truly deserve it.
lol...ahem...I mean...I can totally relate. Worse thing is the smugness comes from my best friend so I can't exactly strangle her lol. There is always going to be someone better off than you...but that also means there is probably also someone else that is worse off too...
Thing will be ok - The Boy sounds so lovely :D
yes, its not jealousy, but just a lame feeling that 'why not me' and why them? It feels unfair, and no one anwers your questions....I weeped at school friend's wedding, not becuase I had crush on them or something..oh god no...just that I want to be the happiest girl on earth too. And I don't have any boy to tell me that my time will come..so there...you are not selfish. Just human..Cheers!
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