Plans

The boy and I are wrestling around and about with wedding plans.
We know what we want,
but the idea of putting it all together is daunting us.
It's rather surreal to be planing your own wedding when all your life you've imagined your super-organized dad being in charge of the whole thing?
It's more surreal when you have to do it with the Boy and nobody else.
I mean, since we are so far away from parents, it's pretty much just us
Which first thrilled me to bits.
Because we would own the wedding, you know? We would be able to do our own thing.
I have seen friends and cousins sit numbly by while all around them planned and put together the biggest event of their lives.
And to be able to be a full participant thrilled me.
Should we opt for beach wedding (which the boy insists on but which does not sit well with me, because would I be able to wear high heels on the beach? and the wind?and a sari on the beach just doesn't sound right)
Or
have it in this amazingly high ceilinged, stained glass window equipped episcopalean woman pastor having, church in smalltownamerica (which i am partial towards but he's not because it's too close to his relatives, which bugs him for some reason. Also, the fact that our friends from far, are paying good money to come see as wedded and hell, what would they do in smalltownamerica after the wedding?)
So...all of this is exciting.
And we are putting together wedding plans and timelines.
And planing to go hunting for wedding saris and jewellery in densely populated desi places.
And the boy, bless his Raymond heart, has been very enthusiastic about coming to shop with me.
But really, when we used to dream about it, it was so much more fun and so less responsibility ridden.
For this is a very adult thing we are doing.
Planing a wedding.
Making sure friends who come enjoy themselves.
Making sure family is taken care of
Balancing between each other's cultures
and
making sure marriage reflects our tastes and desires.
So,
not for us the two doves on the wedding stage with giant heart saying "Me weds Boy"
and not for us the ever funny mallu wedding videos with my picture on a rose and the Boy's on a bee descending on me,
Nor the ever lovely photograph of the boy and I looking in to each other eye's framed within a heart .
Nor will we have my father, uncles, greatuncles and sundry other relatives scurrying around doing a million things while I look peacefully on.
The point I was wrestling with, am I losing or gaining something?
Will I miss my mom when I go shopping for clothes and will I miss my dad while putting together wedding plans?
I am thankful that our families will be present for the wedding.
But will I miss the disconected, responsiblity- less feelings that I expected to have, had I been marrying a non-Boy like person?
Or
Is this another way the boy and I are creating our very own culture and adding another memory to our life?
And then a thought, courtesy of my brilliant friend, M.L., comes to me.
Is there anybody else I would rather lose/gain/create/add with than the Boy?
Sigh....No