So...
a friend of a friend tells me that a friend of a friend is/was cheating on her boy who came all the way from India to be with her.
I know this person
And I know of her boy.
And I wonder:
What's the obligation that friends have toward each other when we are doing dumb things?
Does one wait for the right time to tell somebody they are being cruel, careless and mean?
Who does one have an obligation to - the friend or the stranger who is being trampled on by the friend?
Does one hold one's silence for the sake of a friendship?
I don't think i could.
But roomie tells me it's all about timing and all about making sure people are receptive enough to hear one's message.
I am still not convinced
6 comments:
I think you should talk to the friend - don't hurt her boy anymore than he is going to be hurt. Because either she will break it off with her lover or with him and she may be able to do it gracefully that will save him some pain.
Just happened upon your site and I have a tale of a comment to make...
My SIL was married to a Cad...
and she was living in a town eons away from us...
Not far enough, as a gal pal of mine, approaches me and tells my my BIL is having an affair and it is the talk of the small town... as her sister lived in the town... and knew the girl that cad was having the affair with...
Tell your friend...
Stranger or not, friend or not. He has the *RIGHT* to know the truth, no matter how soul-destorying it may be. Yes, he might hate you, your friend might not be your friend anymore, but, really, he deserves to know what is going on behind his back.
I know I would, and when it happened to me, the only thing I wondered was WHY so many people who knew it was happening never told me. They offered a litany of excuses. They didn't know how to approach me. They didn't want to hurt me, etc... -- What hurt the most was not knowing even when others did.
Eventually, I got the truth from a friend of a friend too. He came up to me, and told me -- a total stranger -- who felt it was wrong. I am STILL GRATEFUL to him today.
Tell him. He deserves the truth. Everybody does.
Word. Speak about what you know. Let the other person that you know and that you're giving them 24 hours to tell the other person before you tell them.
I agree with paperback! The person you know should could have many reasons for whatever she is upto.... not to say it can be excused but some one's got to push her to do the talking than you jumping in !! It would be better if she herself comes clean. She owes him that much and he deserves to hear from her. If it was me, I would talk to the girl than the guy in this situation. I would also give some benefit of the doubt to this girl under attack...
Friend of a friend's boy knows. Obligations of a friendships met. Boy crushed. Friend of a friend in deep and troubled angst and despair. All pray for a clear way ahead.
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