Now that The Boyfriend is almost done with his training, he will be given his first assignment. Which means in a very short time, we have to tell our parents.Which means, I have to stop acting like a 5 year old and pick up the phone, dial the numbers, and tell my parents “Yes I do have somebody I want to get married to. And no, he’s not Syrian Orthodox. Or Malayalee and sigh.. not even Christian.”
This cathartic role playing/voicing aloud is good for me. My inner delusion is that
a) accidently sister or brother will leave screen at homes open on this exact page and thereby eliminate the need for the dreaded, gut wrenching, face distorting conversation that begins with, “I have something to say”
Or b) wedded and impregnated cousins will chance upon page, recognize ME from convoluted writings and forward link to parents, thus eliminating need for see above
If my life was a Hindi movie a) or b) would happen with accompanying song, maybe Pyra kiya tho darna kya (if you’ve done love, then why fear?).
But sadly, no song plays. I am a 28 year old adult who will confront this dreaded avoidance … in two months. Maybe. Hopefully. Godwilling. Like friend said: “You don’t want to be 40 with kids and still not have told parents, do you?”
Honey, if I wasn’t Malayalee and didn’t have relatives in every possible corner of the world, that's something I just might do.
9 comments:
...been following ur blog for quite sometime...ur posts r too good.....:))
...hope everything works out well for u...good luck...
another blogger also called "me"....;)
Have you driven your parents to the point where they've said, If you have anyone you've found then please tell us, it's ok? [ A message ususally conveyed through same age cousins/friends?]
What you want to do is first spook them with the idea that you are a lesbian/ marrying anyone who is not Indian...then slowly break it to them that he is an Indian just not a christian.
I was given a list : First of all Christian, then South Indian, then Malayalee, then Syrian Christian then from a family we know...I complied so neatly, my parents were so baffled as to where to object:)so then they bitched out his age, he's a month younger than me.
Parents!
Beks! Really. Is it lovely when things work out so perfectly. As for me. Sigh. He's not even Indian. And oh my gosh!!! I thought of the whole lesbian/pregnant shock thing too.
And ME! I did a double take there. And I love your blog!
My darling Me (the real Me not the new Me)-
I feel your pain because I was there. Luckily my mother (whose opinion mattered most to me) had always said as long as he's Catholic and he loves you that's all that matters. He's Catholic but he's the whitest-white boy out there AND he's older than me (although he certainly didn't look it so no one ever asked). I told my mom and she was fine. I still laugh that she said "just get dad alone and tell him" I thought, "woman are you crazy?? I need it to be in public with plenty of witnesses so he won't go off on me". In the end, and I swear to this, it was so much less a deal than I made it out to be in my head. We're good daughters which is why we worry so much in the first place about what they think. Just make sure that he will always love and respect you and your family and he will win them over.
P.S. And yes...I fracking love BSG!
Your blogging sister,
Mint
Me: One day you will have to bite the bullet and tell them. I suspect that they might be more hurt that you've kept it under your hat for so long.
So, I advocate telling them...now.
You can curse me later.
Good luck!
well try being a half Gujarati and half Bengali...doesn't leave you with enough space to try and hide from relatives even on a planet the size of Jupiter!!
ps: the last time Anarkali sang 'Pyra kiya tho darna kya' (if you’ve done love, then why fear?) she got herself tied up & seeing the inside a stone wall as they covered her up.
good luck anyways.
nachi - ooo...half guju and half bengali - that's practically half the planet. I had forgotten that Anarkali sang it. Oh yeah, definetely changing theme song.
Curses-paperback. You are soooo right.
Mint - thanks. and BSG rocks!!!
Just remember that the rest of your life rocks. Everyone needs something in their life to obsess about.
Anyway, it really sounds like your mom is turning over the concept in her head already. So maybe the battle is half-won.
Best of luck, hon. I really feel that it's going to turn out great!
M.L.
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